PHANTOM SWAY

    • And then it got weird: Forklifts, Lizards, and Lungs

    John Kerry has been cleared of all charges resulting from his drug fueled forklift rampage in Sunny Beach, Bulgaria. The judge ruled that he was momentarily insane.

    Sunny Beach, Sheet

    Seriously. Sunny Beach. That’s a real place. It’s on maps and everything.

    c044d7f13a11098daac790447dc477fb6dd880898bf2d561458d041c927bfd3b

    U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry
    U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry

    British cage fighter who rampaged through Bulgarian town in stolen forklift truck while high on drink and drugs is cleared after judges say it was ‘a moment of insanity’

    A British man arrested in Bulgaria for stealing a forklift truck and crashing into two cars before attacking local police with a wrench has had charges against him dropped after being declared ‘insane’.

    Mixed Martial Arts fighter John Kerry, 26, was hospitalised after going on a rampage in the popular Bulgarian holiday resort Sunny Beach in September last year.

    Kerry was reportedly found by police with a cocktail of drugs, including anabolic steroids, as well as alcohol in his system.

    Let’s face it. The competition in Bulgarian forklift rampaging is fierce these days. These guys are under such immense pressure. Kerry would be insane not to use performance enhancing drugs.

    Cold Blooded Street Fighters

    In other fighting news, this video comes to us from somewhere where gigantic lizards fighting in the street doesn’t stop traffic or cause people to run in horror.

    Well played.
    Well played.

    The video is pretty good at displaying monitor lizards’ penchant for the Greco-Roman style, complete with authentic nudity. It’s a shame that no one had a small scale model of Tokyo handy, but it’s hard to excuse the decision not to add Star Trek pon farr music to the clip.

    Much better.

    A strenuous session of lizard pon farr works up a powerful appetite. Who wants chicken?

    Lung Pao Chicken

    393417

    Australian Marc Nicholls wanted some fried chicken but got more than what he asked for.

    Man allegedly finds a lung in his KFC chicken wing, and the photos are pretty gross

    The Daily Mail reports Australian man Marc Nicholls was “shocked after chomping down on the grey, brain-like flesh.” If you can stomach it, you can see all of the photos on The Daily Mail here.

    “It was absolutely vile,” Nicholls told The Daily Mail. 

    That’s probably just a matter of taste. I’m almost certain there are parts of the world where a free poultry organ would be viewed as a windfall. Dude! Free chicken lung! Suh-weet! If it’s fried according to the Colonel’s original recipe–or better yet, Extra Crispy—how bad could a chicken lung taste? I mean, assuming the bird wasn’t a heavy smoker.

    Jim Jamitis
    Latest posts by Jim Jamitis (see all)