WARNING: Spoilers ahead. Nothing too specific, but I don’t need anybody breakin’ my balls in the comment section.
I went with my friend Judi a couple nights ago to see Hereditary. Judi and I meet up about once a month to go see a horror flick together. Judi is an ER nurse and it seems that every time we meet up she has a new story to share that involves pulling a foreign object out of a patient’s ass. Fun Fact: Between 2009 and 2014, there were an estimated 17,968 emergency room visits in the U.S. for foreign bodies stuck in a rectum.
What the hell, America?
Anyway, usually any film being touted as a “Big Hit at Sundance!” is a pretty good indication to me that it’s going to suck donkey balls. Not this time. Judi and I both thought Hereditary was scary as hell and we loved it.
Toni Collette (Remember her kick-ass role as the mom from The Sixth Sense? Hell yeah you do, because she was magnificent!) portrays an artist who – shocker – seems to be a total wacko. Her recently deceased mom was probably a witch or some shit, and she has a weird-ass daughter who likes to rip heads off birds.
There’s one death scene that nearly had me poppin’ a Xannie because the build-up to it is so perfectly done. We went to one of those theaters with the fancy leather reclining loungers. To add to my anxiety, my fat ass kept hitting the positioning button and launching my seat forward, scaring the shit out of myself at just the right moments. Judi found this hilarious.
After the jolting death scene, somebody decides a séance to summon the recently departed would be a super idea. Contact is made with the deceased loved-one, and a pleasant exchange ensues wherein everyone involved is assured that the beloved is at peace in the afterlife and they all feel free to move on.
Hahaha, hell no – Y’all haven’t even seen the movie and you know that ain’t even close to being right! Holding a séance was not, consequently, a wise move – which anyone who has ever seen a horror movie could have told these people. The shit hits the fan, there’s lot of screaming, and the weirdness proceeds to get cranked up to eleven from there on out.
If you want to know how Hereditary ends, picture in your mind that climactic final scene of Rosemary’s Baby, except everyone in that room is naked as a jaybird. There’s a shot of a dead family pet in there somewhere near the conclusion, but you don’t even have time to grieve for the poor animal because there’s suddenly so much naked to deal with.
This has been another awesome movie review by Mavis.
- Awesome Movie Reviews by Mavis: Hereditary - June 18, 2018
- Awesome Movie Reviews by Mavis: The Mummy - June 22, 2017
- Awesome Movie Reviews by Mavis: Bridget Jones’s Baby* - September 18, 2016
