I just had a completely brilliant business idea & I need investors.
Sedated flying.
Hear me out. They already cram us in like sardines to save money. Save even MORE money by stacking passengers like cordwood & putting them to sleep! No need for food, galleys, lavs…just keep enough for the flight crew & sedation nurses.
Imagine going to sleep at LAX & waking up what seems like a second later in Sydney! WHY AREN’T WE DOING THIS NOW, MEN AND WOMEN OF SCIENCE?!
No more emotional support peacocks, no more concern about terrorists because errbody asleep, no more security theatre, no more even giving a damn about crashing because, hey, you’re asleep!
We’ve been making sci-fi movies exploring this concept for decades. Put a bunch of people headed to Mars in suspended animation for a year or so, then — PROFIT! Or Matt Damon vegetation!
Surely there are anesthesiologists out there utterly sick and tired of boring old surgeries. They long to chill out on a plane, dancing naked amidst our peacefully sleeping forms to their favourite hits of the ’80s. An hour before landing, they get dressed, push the wakey wakey juice through our veins, and act all professional during descent. What joy for them!
No jet lag, no anxiety, no septuagenarians from Texas telling you all about the time Erik Estrada came to the Denny’s in their town, just sleep. Peaceful, clueless sleep.
Okay give me all your seed money.
My next Ramones-inspired business idea has to do with a high school. It’s still in development, but it may involve rock and roll. Watch this space!
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