#IAmTotallyBugginRightNow Hollywood continues it’s nonstop crusade to ruin everything good about your childhood with yet another reboot. This time it’s the 90s classic Clueless. How can anyone honestly believe they can remake the the work of art that gave us Paul Rudd before he was at his Ruddiest? This movie was a product of it’s time, and the idea of a reboot seems pretty harsh, man. You’ll never match the dynamic duo of Cher and Dionne, you thoughtless assholes! And get off my lawn!
#RebootAllTheThings Why make a new, fun, brainless action-adventure movie based on a Disneyland ride that would spawn a bajillion dollars in spin-offs and merchandise when you can just reboot the old, fun brainless action-adventure movie based on a Disneyland ride. Disney is rebooting the Pirates of the Caribbean, sans Johnny Depp. Can you call it a reboot if the last installment was only a year ago? FOR THE LOVE OF KEITH RICHARDS STOP REBOOTING STUFF!!!! JUST MAKE SOMETHING NEW! PLEASE!
#OhAreWeReallyDoingThis Apparently Louis C.K. is back and endorsed by Chris Rock, among others. So if you work for Chris Rock, be sure to masturbate in front of everyone at the office whenever you feel like it. It’s obviously not a problem.
#MasterBaiter Speaking of Louis C.K., Sarah Silverman dared us to stop watching her grating comedy by admitting she let the comedian masturbate in front of her in the past but it’s fine because they were just peers and there was no dynamic of power between them. Sure, Sarah…it’s fine. By the way, this is why we shouldn’t take our political or moral cues from the Hollywood set. They don’t live in the real world where masturbating in front of people is definitely not okay…ever.
#BabyByeByeBye Bye, Megyn Kelly. We hardly knew ye…or cared about ye.
#NoBo The curse of Kathleen Kennedy has killed yet another movie in the Star Wars franchise. The Boba Fett film is on hold indefinitely.
#HotMama Amy Schumer got a baby in her
#Islamocelebrity Sinead O’Connor converted to Islam. I’m super excited to see her rip up a picture of the Prophet Muhammed on SNL.
#FloridaMan Authorities have caught the guy who sent a bunch of bum bombs to a bunch of bums and it turns out he drives a mobile advertisement for crazy. And he’s from Florida.
#BitchPlease Professional Fame Whore and Fame Whore Momager Kris Jenner says she wishes Kanye would just say things “privately”.
#RebootProof The Fresh Price of Bel Air probably won’t get a reboot because Alfonso Ribeiro says it wouldn’t fly without ‘Uncle Phil’. Actor James Avery passed away in 2013 and while he is obviously missed at least his death will be used for something good – stopping an unnecessary reboot of a perfect ’90s sitcom.
Just kidding....Kira is a writer, actor and suburban housewife and mother. Her mantra is "If I can't do it from the couch, is it really worth it?"
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