Let me tell you about the beef stew I just made in the Instant Pot, which is also our cult you should join. Enjoy this gluten free, whole food recipe. Tell Alexa “Play my music” and go get yourself:
A ton of chuck roast (I got a big old wad of it at the end of the day, marked down from $11.95 to $6.99). Cut into bite sizes pieces while listening to Bowie & Cocteau Twins.
Sauté this meat in your InstaPot on the sauté setting after melting a tablespoon of butter in there. Cover with kosher salt & fresh ground pepper. Turn when shit starts to brown. Depeche Mode may be playing now. I don’t know.
Take out the meat (or don’t). Add a diced yellow onion & another tablespoon of butter in the meat fat. Wilt that shit. Really early Depeche Mode is playing. It’s hilarious.
Add the meat back. Add an entire glass of 14 Hands Cabernet Savignon that you got from a lady at church that knows Gwen Stefani somehow. Also drink a glass. It’s really good. Chop up 7 whole carrots into bite sized pieces & add that.
Throw in some garlic powder, ground coriander, a pinch of dried Mexican thyme, & a pinch of the same but rosemary. Maybe do this before the carrots. Add another tablespoon of butter.
Peel two parsnips. Chop em up some. Add them. “Van el Banquete” is playing. Just go with it.
Halve a whole bag of golden potatoes (like, a sane bag. Not a 5lb bag). Drink another glass of wine. “Under Pressure” comes on. You have reached the zone.
Now add a cup or two of unsalted beef stock. Stir a little. Clamp on the lid & set on Meat/Stew for 40 mins. Walk away.
Sing more Depeche Mode because Alexa doesn’t even want to hear guitars tonight. Drink the wine. Smell the smells. Eat the stew (when it’s done & vented) with your roommate while watching Air Disasters. The cat is judging you. All is right.
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